What doesnt kill us , only makes us stronger. look for the silver lining..there is one

It’s amazing how much we discover about ourselves especially when difficult people come into our lives. These people specifically challenge us, test our patience, question our intentions, disbelieve in our love, negate our ideas and destroy our confidence in not only ourselves but also in humans as a whole
Don't undermine the role negative incidents and people play in our life. 
It is these people that we must thank for without them we would not have underwent a metamorphosis.
we would have remained oblivious to our own strength of character and resolves, our deep love and limits to our patience. 
Of course in the short run difficult people and trying situations break us, but only to build us up in the long run. We emerge stronger, braver, wiser and more flexible in the end. 
We can either accept the change and build on what we learned from the experience or we can choose to remain vengeful. but in so doing remain unaware of how strong we are and avoid living our life. Don’t let the hurt stay, learn to let go and move on. It’s like quitting a bad habit. The longer you wait the more difficult it becomes to quit later.

The beauty of failure

Recently I experienced a lot of emotional upheaval in my life. It felt like my whole life was falling apart. Albeit I still feel the same way. I have come to a realization. That despite the pain and hurt, failure contains within itself a certain beauty aswell. Now before you come to the conclusion that I have lost my mind and sanity. I implore you to humor me for a minute.

How is failure beautiful you ask me? how can failing and being overwhelmed with pain possibly be of any good. Well it is, simply because however cliché this may sound to you its true, it makes us stronger. It is only when we fail that we learn to adapt, develop better coping strategies. Where others who haven’t yet tasted failure might have an anxiety attack; we will just be stressed out angry and upset. But we won’t have an anxiety attack. I was talking to a friend who recently felt rejected by someone she fell in love with. This was the first time she fell for someone hard. I on the other hand was in an unrequited love relationship for 8 years.  So while we were discussing her coping strategies and how she should move on etc. I heard her say that she just wished all these feelings would disappear. I laughed at her notion because I had been there a long time back and I knew from experience how absurd she sounded. That got me thinking, despite how much I wished I didn’t have to go through this I did and I survived, I came out ahead. Maybe this is why I am now better equipped to handle myself. I could empathize with her. I knew what she was feeling and thinking. I also knew from experience what worked and what didn’t. It was only through this conversation that I realized if I hadn’t had that period of suffering and failure, I would have never become mature. I would not have been able to empathize with her.

This new found maturity and compassion is only possible because of my suffering. My failures in life have made me more open to other people and their problems. My failures are like a soldier’s war scars, I own my mistakes, shortcoming and failures because they make me who I am. They define me. They changed me. Our failures in life help shape us.  They teach us valuable life lessons. Lessons that help form our personality. Failures push us to reflect, to question ourselves to dig deep and find answers. Its only through disappointment and failure that we find ourselves. And in trying to find our path we tend to ask questions that we would never ponder upon under normal circumstances. For me there is nothing more profound than finding myself. Defining yourself, this is true beauty.

So next time you are faced with failure, once your done with being upset, simply reflect on it. See how it changed you. Question yourself on how you see things now. Ask yourself if this hadn’t happened where would you be? Don’t regret it. Our failures are a combination of circumstances, our attitude our reactions and other people’s reaction towards us. Sometimes the outcome of failure is just inevitable and out of our control because we have to change. We can either change consciously or through a personal tragedy. Its all on us. And its usually through a traumatizing experience that we change, we evolve into what we are suppose to be. There is no shame in failure, you must never let setbacks define you rather you must rise above them learn from them and adapt according to them. But never let them defeat you. Allow yourself the time to mourn your lose, lick your wounds and then dust yourself of because tomorrow is a new day and the world is your oyster. We all fail, some fail earlier in life when others later on. But everyone fails at something. Only remember that its all temporary and it will pass. This feeling of misery and pain will disappear. You may not recognize yourself after the dust clears but know this that you are now much more wiser than you were before. I implore you to remember your youth when making mistakes was never criticized this harshly. Embrace your youthful optimism and push through the hurt.      

  

Day 10 of the political crisis in pakistan

The protests which are being led by (PTI) pakistan tehreek e insaf leader Imran Khan and (PAT) Pakistan Awami tehreek leader Tahirul Qadri has entered day 10. Both parties with their supporters are staging a sit in protest at D chowk situation in front of the Parliament house In the capital city Islamabad. The army which was in the early days of the protests expected to oust the elected Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has decided to stay out of political issue and asked the stakeholders to resolve the political impasse through meaningful dialogue. the second major institution of Pakistan the Supreme court which was under the Previous Chief Justice Iftiqar Muhammad Chaudhry a very political and active institution has now under the current Chief Justice Nasir ul Mulk decided to remain impartial in the brewing political turmoil. which basically translates into two main things:

1. the Current government which until 19 august 2014 was under pressure , due to the risk of a military coup, has now no reason to be scared of any impending military coup in the near foreseeable future. Thus meaning that the government is under no pressure to accept the demands of the protestors. it can delay the whole negotiation and dialogue process until the protests fizzle out on their own. 2. the Protesters don't have the pressure creating power they had before, the military ISPR statement issued. in which the army wanted to the stakeholders to resolve the issue themselves. the protesters have lost their bargaining chip and they have also pushed themselves into the corner. Imran Khan who has been demanding the resignation of the Prime Minister, recount of Votes and fresh elections with the dissolution of the National Assembly has no way of getting his demands met now. Its only a matter of time before people decide they have had enough and want to go home. There are other things happening in the background which will create yet more issues for both PTI and PAT supporters. These include the confrontation with the PMLN supporters who have also started to come out on the streets to challenge the PTI protesters. Then there is the JUI-F political party which is also favouring the incumbent and also ordered a nation while strike and protests supporting the government.

Then there is the Media angle, how is the journalistic community of Pakistan looking at this issue and how they are reporting , covering and analyzing the facts in these times. Unfortunately the media persons especially the anchors are all creating more confusion and giving disinformation. The new Junior political analysts dont have the necessary educational background in ether journalism or political science and yet the have the audacity to come on TV and host 3hr shows in which they talk about nothing except being around the bush and repeating two points of the debate which are will the Prime Minister resign, Will Imran Khan back down from demanding Primers resignation. If you are lucky and do find a channel looking at another angle of the debate you will be met with surprise to find out such far fetched lies presented as facts, which the journalist will willingly present in talk show A on channel and then 5 hrs later deny in talk Show B on channel B.

A country where the Journalistic community does not feel responsible and accountable for their reporting or to uphold journalistic ethics, avoiding sensationalism and spreading disinformation. what kind of a revolution do you expect will come. All media houses in Pakistan are playing the rating game they will go to any lengths to get ratings which i dont even think are true figures given the kind of content and shows they are presenting. I'm very disappointed of the double face, unprofessional and Yellow journalism that is now considered as standard practice in Pakistani Media. Its very sad that at the one hand Pakistani society is being polarized by this political upheaval and on the other hand the media or more specifically the journalists are taking full advantage of the situation. Most journalists or political anchors keep reiterating the fact that they are neutral and impartial but they are clearly not. instead they think lying in front of the camera and changing their opinion on a whim constitutes being impartial. well it does not. Please go and educate yourselves first before coming on air with the aim of educating the masses or forming their opinions.

political turmoil in Pakistan

12 August 2014 I cant help but write a little on the political turmoil in pakistan. Im going to give a detailed account of what is currently happening in the country because the international media although following the news is still hesitant in reporting it. im running a bit late today so i will write the details by tomorrow. but the jist of it is as follows: Two people one a political leader of the Pakistan Tehreeki Insaf PTI, Imran Khan, and the other A religious cleric and leader of the Minjah ul Quran and now heading its political wing the Pakistan awami tehreek PAT, DR tahir ul Qadiri. These are the main protagonists in this political upheaval. Both have decided to take their supports and march on to the capital city of pakistan i.e Islamabad on the independence day of the country i.e. 14 august 2014. there demands are different from each other Mr Tahir Ul Qadiri wants to over throw the current government. while Mr Imran Khan has been asking for vote audit and recount of votes in 4 constituencies he deemed to have been rigged, and would welcome the idea if the government fell in the process. since the government refused turned a deaf ear to the election rigging accusations of Mr Khan he has now taken to the streets to register his demands to the government. The reaction of the government thus far: the government of the province of punjab at first used containers to seal off the city of Lahore the strong hold of Mr Qadiri . all routes leading into the city were completely blocked off since the 7th of August. the second measure the government took was blocking the supply of petrol to the citizens of lahore. Special barriers were also setup using containers, barbed wires and police force to isolate and seal off the head office of Minhaj ul Quran in Model town. People were denied access and exit from the building , their food and water supply was also restricted. the government of pakistan has also set up container blockades leading into the city of islamabad the capital aswell. all this in a bid to stop the two protesting rallies from exiting and entering both cities. The protesters and supporters of Mr Qadiri's party have had violent confrontations with the police force of lahore/punjab. This is the present situation of pakistan right now. just two more days before both political leaders move to march onto the capital , they are claiming to make the protest on the lines of those in egypt to depose the dictator Mubarak. as they have vehemently stated that the current ruling government of PM nawaz sharif , pml-n is nothing short of dictatorship or kingship which has come into power through mass rigging of the 11 may 2013 elections. Il give a more detailed analysis of the repercussions of this situation and what the future may hold for pakistan.

difference between Wants and Needs.

we all want money, admiration, love, respect, to be needed etc. Want is the key word here. We all want something. Doesnt necessarily mean that we need it or that its good for us. As humans we will forever be in a state of wanting someone or something. I think its very important here to differentiate between wants or desires and our needs. As we grow older our desires seem to evolve and grow. we want more of this and more of that. And yet we somehow manage to live with what we have. No matter how much or how little we have, we all learn to make due, even if we think we remain unhappy. This concept or thin line between making due with what we have and forever choosing to remain unhappy because of what we want but can not have, must be explored in depth. We all need to understand that this line does indeed exist for everyone and that this line is essential for creating satisfaction for ourselves. once we identify this line and realize this concept and tell ourselves that we are making due with what we have then we have already won half our battle in the pursuit of happiness. Our happiness does not lye with our wants and desires even though it may seem that way to us. surely you must have noticed that when our desire is met we feel happiness but its short lived and fleeting. as soon as we have fulfilled our desire we simply move on to the next one on the list and associate our happiness with that new desire. on the other hand, when all our needs are met we feel happy and fulfilled for a longer duration of time. there is a whole subject dedicated to reading consumer psyche and marketing firms target consumer via subliminal messages to make them want to buy products. I dont want to dwell on the details of how exactly this is done. but the gist of it is that normal traits which were found in humans/people are now being systematically associated with products and things. for example prestige is being associated with cars or traits of machoism and success are associated with cigarettes. now what happens is that inorder to acquire these traits a person simply buys the product and presto !they are under the illusion of marketing. the reality is traits and characteristics which were are shaped with hard work are now easily being bought and sold in the form of material possessions. hence we say that we live in a materialistic world. where the value of people are judged by the amount of things they possess, or the size of their bank balance etc. In light of this its imperative that we honestly ask ourselves if our wants are truly our wants ? and also if what we want is really what we need? Next time you desire something take a minute to reflect on why you want it and if its worth it ? if not then try to re enforce your satisfaction by telling urself that you already have everything you need and be thankful for it. this will help reduce the stress and anxiety we tend to build over time in our pursuit of our desires.

What doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger. Look for the silver lining..There is one

It’s amazing how much we discover about ourselves especially when difficult people come into our lives. These people specifically challenge us, test our patience, question our intentions, disbelieve in our love, negate our ideas and destroy our confidence in not only ourselves but also in humans as a whole
Don't undermine the role negative incidents and people play in our life.
It is these people that we must thank for without them we would not have underwent a metamorphosis.
we would have remained oblivious to our own strength of character and resolves, our deep love and limits to our patience.
Of course in the short run difficult people and trying situations break us, but only to build us up in the long run. We emerge stronger, braver, wiser and more flexible in the end.
We can accept the change and build on what we learned from the experience or we can choose to remain vengeful. but in so doing remain unaware of how strong we are and avoid living our life. Don’t let the hurt stay, learn to let go and move on. It’s like quitting a bad habit. The longer you wait the more difficult it becomes to quit later

One size does not fit all.

I was studying the other day about how one economic policy successful in one country if applied to another country can not only fail but also cause damage to its economy as well. I think the same is true for life aswell. We all think and try to adhere to the same success formulas that people around us are following and think to ourselves if we copy or imitate them then we to can succeed. I am completely opposed to this idea.  i strongly believe that each and everyone of us have our unique challenges in life. We are all unique and have different set of skills and limitations. therefore assuming that the same conventional set of rules, aims, standards of success also apply to us is a gross mistake on our parts. infact id go so far as to say that when we try to limit ourselves into the box of conventions and society we are being unfair to ourselves. We should all have the strength to stand tall and pride ourselves in being unique. A comfortable lifestyle for me does not necessarily mean the same it would for you. We should stop putting to much pressure on ourselves on being successful especially in the material sense because success is not synonymous to happiness and satisfaction. Im not just referring to the concept of keeping up with the joneses. For example we set targets for our kids in line with how we lived our lives or at least planned to live it etc. 

Our unique and individual skill sets is what differentiates us from the herd, we arent sheep or cows blindly following each other but unfortunately this is the these days, whether its about investing in the stock market or real estate or deciding which schools to put our kids in or which degrees our children should study. its all based on a herd instinct. It is this mind set that has not only limited our innate creativity but also increased our stress levels.

I agree there are certain rules in society to which we must all conform but these rules are those of universal morality etc where we must respect the rights, property and freedom of others. But beyond this we have no need to conform to conventional model of success. Which in todays  time broadly constitutes a big car, lavish house, large bank balance, a high position job etc. 

This to me is wrong lets face it we live in a world of the haves and have nots. thats the basic dynamic of this universe. So instead of trying to and failing to join the ranks of the haves. Why not aspire to have that which you need and that which will make you happy and content. The saying be careful what you wish for comes to mind here. I say make peace with what you have. aspire to be a better human being, aspire to be good at your job not because you can then ask for a raise but because that will make you more respectable and satisfied with yourself. 

Change you outlook on life. Quality time can be spend just by sitting in the park, you don't need to be in a party to find peace and fulfilment.  

Try finding pleasure in the modest things in life. dont put undue pressure on yourself to achieve something that will destroy you in the process. Never aim for and work for anything that you arent sure will bring you true happiness once you achieve it. so be very careful where you spend your energy because if you work hard and realize at the end of the rainbow there is no pot of gold then your worse of than you were before especially emotionally and psychologically.

Give your self space, treat yourself with compassion, love and respect. and stop believing that the same model of success fits all because it doesnt if it did then we would all have achieved it by now. always focus on your strong points and try to improve your weaknesses. 

But the most important lesson of all is to be true to yourself.