Its been a long time since I last listened to the voice in my head... now don't get me wrong I'm not insane well at least not yet ;) I had replaced this voice with real people. but over time it has occurred to me that, while others help you connect and expand your knowledge they do not lend you the time to reflect. you are to consumed with the thought of other people that you lose yourself on the way. Its been a long time since was in a mood to write something. Although I pride myself in procrastination, I thought it time to put a few thoughts on paper. in the process of reflection I realized that there is not much that motivates me, attracts me, fascinates me or amuses me. its like I have lost meaning in life generally, not that I had much to begin with but as I keep ageing I am hit with reality. all my thoughts on how it should be have been shattered one by one. ultimately leading me to a path which has no meaning or purpose. for a sceptical person its extremely difficult to walk on a path not knowing where it may lead, not even knowing what end it encompasses. and yet here i am writing, voicing my thoughts and trivial concerns. Im sick of trying to conform to society , to family to adhere to the norms. not that there is anything wrong with following a few rules but come on, even rules are bent or broken given extraordinary circumstances.There is always an escape clause in most legal documents then why not in real life. or perhaps a reset button, like the one on a gaming console. honestly im not sure what im trying to convey here but the bottom line is. Whats the point to doing what we do day and day out, whats the purpose of following set rules and conformity. what the point of living in the illusion of being free and yet limited in every way..... to be continued have to run for now have a few things to do.