Being true to yourself....is it worth it ?

Sometimes we desire things which are not meant for us, or worse than that by desiring or wanting something we risk hurting the ones we love. Its a paradox really if one thinks about it. do we chose that which we desire at the expense of our loved ones or do we forsake it to please those that are dear to us. Do we become selfish and pick our own happiness or do we deny ourselves this happiness and find solace in the happiness of those we love. some people say true happiness lies in helping others. but in not talking abt just helping someone. yes of course helping people does give one happiness but im talking here of a desire or want or need to be true to who u are. the point im making is what if you decide to be true to urself and its in direct conflict with the wishes of those important in your life and u had to choose one which would it be?  this is a rather complex choice. what psychologists call a lose lose situation. because no matter how u slice it you will ultimately lose either yourself or those u care about dearly.
say for the sake of argument you decide that it's best to ignore ur own desires needs or wants and focus on what ur loved ones want from u instead. U act altruistically but even when those around u are happy ,ur not, even if u pretend to be  ur not, u try and try and try ur best to process and accept ur decision and stick to it. but to what end. eventually u will burn out or worse become resentful towards the very ppl tht u sacrificed ur happiness for in the first place and than imagine where that would lead u. what was the point of this who experience if ur still going to hurt them.
now look at the other option where u decide to go ahead and put ur needs first. u decide to chose ur happiness over theirs. u decide to give yourself preference. but ur loved ones cant accept u or what u decide and start resenting you for it or just dont accept ur decision to begin with. this would mean starting an uphill battle which in the end will achieve nothing but heartache for all parties involved. so my question to u is what do u do?
alot of u would be thinking to yourselves, rationalizing it making sense of what kinda desire am i talking about what wants or needs am i referring to here ? because u figure if u know wht it is then its easier to select an option pick a position in the issue. but u miss one thing rationalizing things dont always work. we try and even succeed at rationalizing our choices and decisions but that doesn't change how we feel about them u can rationalize both options but there will be pain involved in both scenarios and that is something which can not be rationalized.
feelings and emotions cant be rationalized. they are what they are.
we feel what we feel we cant hold tht back or stop it.
just like we cant change who we are at our core. we can put on layers, camouflage ourselves, hide behind masks,  behind other people but we cant change who we are intrinsically.